Seeing In The Dark
by RidingOrangeTides
Summary: C.C. never reconciled with Niles when they quit, so she takes on a different path. After a good five years, things have change enormously. C.C. working in her new job as a psychotherapist, one day receives Niles as her new client. N/CC, angstagnstangst.
1. Faulsman

**Mkay, I wanna thank LaurenLaneLover and Brandy (Mark xD) for helping me with the plot. Now I can probably go over 7 chapters! Lol. This whole thing is sort of dark, and it's not usually what I write, but I've been planning to for a while. This chapter is more like a prologue and introduction. Hope you enjoy. :) **

_I do not own anything of The Nanny

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**Seeing in the Dark**

_Chapter 1: Faulsman_

Niles checked in wearily as he immediately got into his uniform. It was his shift in Mercielo, a highly praised restaurant that he was lucky to work for. He had kept up this job for the past 2 years. The staff was friendly, the customers were never a pain in the ass, and his boss was generously amazing. He was only a simple waiter, but he was one of the best. He was fast, he was precise, he out waited all the other employees.

Unable to leave New York due to the incorrect amount of money necessary, he was fortunately saved by his parents wanting to move. They were able to get a comfortable two bedroom apartment. Being so retired and exhausted out of their years, it was Niles' duty to take much care of them. He worked hard for him, for working hard was his life, and what else gave a better reason to work than his own family?

But things were different. He couldn't replace what used to be with his own place (shared with his parents) or a fancy job with an awesome boss; things were never going to be the same. There was no one going to love him the way the Sheffields did. He'd meet no one like his precious C.C. either. He was only here to serve, not to talk, not to make friends. Thinking this way all the time led him into a silent depression. It made him speak to no one. He came to work with no expression on his face, he came home the same way, although he tried to fake one for his dear parents.

Nine hours of serving passed and Niles was tired. Not that he wasn't always tired.

"Niles, my man," Mr. Conrad Faulsmanm, his boss, called as he caught Niles in the employee's dressing room, stuffing his uniform back into the locker. "How are you?"

"As splendid as always, sir," Niles said neutrally with slight sarcasm. It sounded rather cold to other people, but Conrad for some reason always understood that it wasn't his intention. They were quite close, actually. Niles bothered to actually confide in him once in a while. However, he never told him anything about C.C. and what had happened between them. He never gave explanations to anything either, he would only say what happened, like a tedious narrator.

Conrad took a seat on one of the benches and pat a place next to it for Niles to sit. He sighed and joined Conrad on the bench. "Yes sir?"

"You've been getting worse each week." The two talked without looking at each other, but rather the wall mirror in front of them.

"I know, sir."

"Please, Niles, call me Conrad."

"I'd rather not, sir."

Conrad breathed a laugh that made Niles sort of guilty. "I apologize. I just miss home and the antidepressants aren't working very well."

"Why can't you go back?"

Niles cringed at the thought. He still had no idea that C.C. had quit as well. And he was afraid. Afraid of walking in and seeing them all happy without him. He couldn't handle that. Not after five years.

Using Niles' reaction as an answer, Conrad spoke up. "Perhaps you need someone besides me to help you. Like you know, a therapist. I may be a rather happy-go-lucky man, but I'm really horrible at handling problems."

"It's far too costly, sir."

"Oh, no, don't you worry about that," Conrad said with enthusiasm. "My wife is new to psychotherapy, but from the few clients she's had, they've described my Claire as absolutely brilliant. She charges cheap. And for you, my best employee, I'll even pay half for you."

Niles tried to smile weakly. "I don't think I could accept that sir."

"Nonsense!" Conrad exclaimed as he stood up. "Conrad is your comrade. You'll start next Saturday, my man, here's the address to her office, I'll set up everything for you!" He handed Niles a small white card and walked briskly with a hand in his pocket, whistling a tune back to his office.

Conrad Faulsman was a great man, always full of optimism, always willing to help. Stinge was never a case for him. He was never afraid to offer his hands to those who needed it--who at this moment happened to be Niles.

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It was a gleaming Saturday afternoon, C.C. was sitting in her gorgeous office, sitting at her desk. After five years she managed to give herself a new career, and it changed her life forever.

She didn't even look the same anymore. Her hair was always cut above her eyes, hiding them with her glinty glasses, and tied back subtly into a tail.

Things had changed for her, too. After leaving Niles and the Sheffields, she had gone into a deadly depression and was hopelessly trapped in it; until a very nice gentleman came into her life. And after taking on her new job, she had a change of heart. Her previous coldheartedness melted in the midst of her depression and when she was treated, her mind was more open. She was softer, but didn't talk much. She didn't smile with much honesty either.

The door opened and C.C. looked up from her neat desk. "Hello, dear." Her voice sounded calm and soft and innocent, so unlike her usual sultry voice.

Conrad chimed in with a bright smile. "There's my Claire." He took a seat on the arm of her chair and wrapped his arm around her shoulders and gave her a quick kiss.

C.C. smiled at him softly as she held at his hand. "How's work?"

"Lovely, like you," he smiled. "Your new guy will be here in a moment." He moved and took the seat in front of the desk.

"Oh yes, Nigel?"

"Nigel? I think you misheard." Conrad laughed.

"Oh..." C.C. looked down shyly, taking out a pen and her appointments, crossing out the name. "So who is he?"

"His name is Niles."

She froze and it took no more than a second for her to feel fear pump through her heart. "...You have an employee.. named Niles?"

"Yes, honey, why?" Conrad's expression puzzled only slightly.

"How long has he been working for you?"

"About two years. Why do you ask?"

Damn it all! If C.C. had bothered to come to Mercielo to eat or visit Conrad, she'd have known. But right now, she was caught between wanting to have known sooner, or not wanting to know at all. She looked at the nothingness on her desk and took a few silent deep breaths, nervous out of her mind.

"Conrad I don't think this is a good idea," she said softly, with fright in her tone.

"Aw, darling, how could you know that? Niles is a brilliant man, he just needs to find his way back to life," Conrad assured her as he got up to pet the top of her hair and kiss her head. "See you at home, cuppycake. I love you."

"Love you, too," C.C. replied as she tried to put on a smile for him. He smiled back with sympathy in his expression and pinched at her chin. "Don't kill yourself trying to do that, sweetie."

He left the room with his signature walk and C.C. dropped down her weak smile and looked back down at her desk and sat back into her chair with a plop and a heavy sigh. Poor Conrad, knew C.C. too well and still loved her, but C.C. couldn't return the favor.

But that was at the least of her worries. _Niles_ was coming. After 5 long years, she'd see him again. Though she didn't want to, she always found herself thinking about him at her moments of solitude. She always tried to convince herself that what was done was done, and she couldn't fix them, so she best accept it. She wasn't sure if she should be glad or scared shitless. The possibility of making things right again and returning to friendship shined more or less, but there was that blaring chance that things would get even worse. Niles would walk out right when he saw her and she wouldn't be able to go after him.

This would be her last chance.

Feeling herself tense up, she emptied her head and drank her glass of water that was there whenever she needed it.

It was 1:41 PM. Niles' appointment was at 2. The wait would be painfully tedious.

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1:59. C.C. was getting scared. Her heart beat furiously and everything around her felt hot. She sat nervously at the chair in front of the patient sofa with a small glass coffee table in between them.

_Calm down, C.C.... everything will be okay... more or less._

The knob turned as the door unhinged and opened, revealing a frail looking old man, dressed in a tan suit--just like the one Niles'd wear in the mansion.

"Niles...?" C.C. heart jumped out of his place for a moment. Niles closed the door and walked up to C.C. with a weak smile. Five years had aged him ten. There was a mixture purple and brown shadows around his eyes, the kinds that people get from stress and unhappiness. The look of despair.

"Good afternoon, Dr. Faulsman," Niles greeted and shook her hand, not noticing that it felt scalding. His voice was raspy and low, like he wasn't giving much effort to talk.

"He-hello, Niles..." She stuttered weakly for a moment.

He took a seat on the sofa and folded his hands over his lap.

C.C. was confused out of her mind, but kept her composure. "N..Niles?" she called.

"Yes, ma'am?"

"Can I ask you... if you remember seeing me anywhere?"

Niles stared at her, looking puzzled and squinted. C.C. waited nervously as he took a few seconds.

"No, not at all."

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**How was it? :P It gets better. Well, not really better, but more eventful. xp Remember to Review! I don't lie when I say they make me smile.  
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**Tata**

**~Rei  
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	2. Nostalgia

**Mkay, so this chapter's a little short and choppy, but was what I could come up with between classes and sleep. :D Hope you like ~

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**Chapter 2: Nostalgia**

C.C. sat there silently, speechless. She didn't whether to believe him or go "good one, Niles."

Niles' eyes held no shine, as if they were dead for years. Never had she seen him this way...

Once again she was caught between things. She wanted to tell Niles so bad but at the same time she feared for her life. Maybe she would wait until he figured out himself.

"Is there a problem, Dr. Faulsman?" He asked, his voice still effortlessly raspy.

"Uhm... No," C.C. shook it off and sat up straight. "So Mr... Niles, I think this session be best used on introduction. Tell me about yourself." She knew almost everything about Niles, so it was a pointless question to ask.

"Well, uh," Niles started as he leaned back tiresomely on the sofa. "As you probably already know, I work as a waiter for your husband. Um, I've been working there for two years, and I think it's a remarkable place; your husband is a really great man."

C.C. sighed a slight smile, proud of her Conrad. Niles looked emptily around, fishing for more things to say.

"I live with my parents... to support them. They recently moved from England to here, so..."

She nodded, not having anything to say to him. He then looked at her with his eyes of despair.

"Usually, being the person I am, this would be enough to keep me content with life, no matter how lower class I seem to be."

"Then what is it that's troubling you so much?"

Niles took a shaky sigh, and C.C. knew what he was going to say.

"Well," he started. "I used to work as a butler for Maxwell Sheffield, you know, the Broadway producer. Don't get me wrong, he and I had grown up with each other, and his family was very good to me. It was just..."

"Just..." C.C. urged him softly.

"The bloody witch business partner I fell madly in love with."

The nickname "witch" made her heart ache and nostalgic. "Oh," she merely replied.

Niles bit his lip as he put on a crooked smile and looked up at walls. "Yes, the bitch of Broadway, C.C. Babcock," he chuckled in painful memory.

"What happened between you two?"

"Nearly 20 years of painful repression killed me--it surely could kill anyone. And five years ago, after six years of getting closer, I proposed to her. Four times, like a desperate idiot," Niles laughed pathetically. Though he felt permanently cut inside, he started to feel better spilling everything out to this woman. Though they had just met, he felt that they already had some sort of sympathetic connection.

C.C.'s eyes began to slightly water behind her glasses, but she let them dry. "I wouldn't blame you for doing that..." she commented.

"Yeah but well, Ms. Babcock did. She rejected me, and stabbed me in the face while she was at it. I don't know I had to fall for her, when I knew all along that she was far too cold to look at me as anything other than the butler that cooks her food and cleans the house. So I left. I couldn't handle being there if I had to see her everyday... But I was guess it was just a lose-lose situation since now I'm still miserable without her. And I can't seem to get over it all, no matter what I do..."

Niles' expression turned dark as he didn't even bother to fake a laugh or a smile. His eyes drifted off into space, replaying everything, and frowning at them.

C.C.'s heart couldn't help but to swell. While she was living and making it out okay, Niles was broken into a million pieces, hopelessly picking them up then tripping over again. This is what she did to him, she was the guilty one. Why did she have to leave him so selfishly? Why couldn't she have prevented this?

"Niles," C.C. said softly and calmly, trying to hide the shakiness in her voice. She stared at him with the most endearing look she's ever given anyone. "I'm sure... that... although I don't know her as well as you do... wherever C.C. is now, she's thinking of you everyday, and is waiting to find you."

Niles looked at her hopefully, but not enough to spark anything in his eyes. "Do you think?"

"Of course... no human... not even the most selfish and coldhearted person couldn't feel guilt... Especially if she saw you now."

Niles smiled at her. "You know Dr. Faulsman, out of the many people who have told me anything similar to that... you're the only one I might believe."

"Why, is it cause I'm a therapist?"

"Maybe."

They laughed, and for once in a very long time, it was real.

-----

C.C. went home that day feeling bittersweet. Though the contact with Niles was heart shearing, it made her feel alive.

"Good evening, darling," Conrad greeted from the kitchen as C.C. entered through the door.

"Hey," she replied sweetly as she kissed him a greeting.

Conrad returned to face his cooking. "How was the session? Not as bad as you were 'fraid it be, hm?" He winked.

"It went...well." She took out a glass from the cupboard and poured herself some water from the fridge. "I think he'll make great progress." _With a chance of mental breakdown once he finds out..._

Conrad smiled warmly at her. "That's wonderful, I'm proud of you, Claire."

C.C. downed her water and put it in the sink and smiled at Conrad, just before retreating to her room to change into comfy pajamas.

Just as she opened her closet, the phone rang. It was B.B.

B.B. was never the kind of mother to call her children, let alone care, but ever since she heard of C.C.'s resignation as Maxwell's business partner, she'd been paying much attention to her. At first, she went over to C.C. herself to give her a talk down in the mistake she was making. But when she finally saw her, so broken down, eyes and nose swollen and red from crying the whole night, she changed her mind and instead gave her support.

B.B. wasn't a _bad_ mother, just a mislead mother. She always thought her children never cared about anything, that just as long as they'd put up a smile each day it was enough to convince her that nothing was wrong. B.B. herself also suffered from partial insanity and depression, which was most likely why C.C. had turned out so fucked up anyhow. Her little baby needed her.

She had C.C. live with her for a while until she became more stable. And when C.C. became a therapist and got married to Conrad, B.B. never left suspicion on him, threatening that if he ever hurt her child he'd pay for it for everything he's worth. She'd call every week to see how C.C. was doing with him. Each time she did, something would change. Each time, C.C. would be more talkative towards her mother, which she never was before. Call after call, C.C. became this soft, sensitive, vulnerable child. B.B made sure that Conrad handled C.C. with great care, as of course he did.

"Hello, C.C."

"Hi mummy," C.C. replied, finding herself talking to her with a more cheerful voice.

"Dear lord, you sound ecstatic!"

C.C. smiled at the phone. "Not really."

"Well every other time I called, you sounded so monotonous."

"Eh." C.C. held the phone in between her head and her shoulder as she changed out of her skirt to get into her pajama pants.

"How is Conrad?" B.B. asked the weekly question.

"Sublime, as always, mummy."

"Have you two done anything yet? You really do sound happier, which right now can only mean one thing, you know."

C.C. breathed a slight laugh.

"See? You haven't done that in ages!"

"It's none of that, mum. Things are just... changing."

"Well I have to go now, my plane to Thailand is leaving in a few hours. Take care, don't do anything I might have to fly over there and slap you silly for. Love you."

"Love you mummy."

C.C. clicked the phone and went to resume changing.

It was the second week since Niles' arrival back into C.C.'s life, which marked today as his second session. She was excited and looked so forward to it like nothing else in her life. She tried to hide her excitement and liveliness however--it would probably spark some recognition from Niles.

2:00 PM struck and Niles was no more than a minute late.

"Good afternoon, Dr. Faulsman," he greeted as he sat on the sofa. His appearance didn't change in a week much, but his eyes seemed to brighten up a little more, although not dramatically.

C.C. felt awkward having him call her by her new professional name... she wanted to hear "Ms. Babcock" so bad.

She smiled back at him. "Hello, Niles. How have you been feeling?" She asked in the same soft frail voice she was so used to talking in.

"Fine..."

"Niles, this is therapy, you don't have to lie."

"Well actually, I'm not completely lying... this place makes me feel safer."

"Kiss ass," C.C. found herself muttering really low.

"Hm?"

"Oh, nothing, just coughed..." C.C. put her fingers over her mouth in surprise. It's been a long time since she's said anything close to that...

"So," she started. "What's been on your mind lately?"

Niles sat back and blinked onto the floor to find his words. "Well um, I've still been thinking about Ms. Babcock and everything that we used to do... I really miss it."

"Do you remember her vividly?" She found herself asking, so curious.

"Of course. She has been haunting me for five years now..."

"Do you... sometimes see her in people?"

"All the time. But even if I see a spitting image of her, I know it's not really her... there's just no way it could be."

C.C. frowned, her eyes glinting guilt. He was so convinced that he'd never see her again...

"You remind me of her, too," Niles confessed. C.C. became nervous.

"But you're far too kind to be anything like her," he added. Oh, dear god, the irony. C.C. smiled awkwardly and urged him to continue talking.

"Sometimes I end up thinking about her when I really don't want to. Even if I'm distracted the whole day, I fall asleep wondering about her, and each night is dreamless."

"Well," C.C. started when he was done. "I guess the problem right now is your attitude. You're so hung over m...her, and so upset that you don't even think that you'll ever meet her again.

"What helped me when I was undergoing this same kind of situation, was whenever I'd think of y...that someone, I would just hope the best for them, and that as long as they're happy... I should be happy, too."

"How do I know that she's happy?"

"You don't. You just hope they are. You have to leave them behind, no matter how painful it is... when you're absolutely sure that they're miserable without you... that's when you do something about it."

Niles made a face, unsure.

"Niles... I know this is hard for you, but my job is not to fix the world for you. I can't control how Ms. Babcock is," she winced at the irony. "And I can't control how you feel about everything... that's your job. My job is just to help you get through it without killing yourself."

"I suppose..." Niles sighed. "I'll take your word for it."

After a few seconds of silence, Niles spoke again.

"So you've... gone through this before?"

"Well..." she said nervously. "It's something that happens to everyone..."

"I want to hear about it."

C.C. became worried. Niles sensed it. "Just to, you know, help me out," he assured.

She sighed and began. "Okay so... I once knew this man. We were... complicated friends, but very good ones nonetheless. And one day I let him down." Recalling everything and trying to put it into bland and vague proved to be more painful than it first sounded when she thought of it. Her eyes began to redden, but with no tears.

"And after that, he left, and I never saw him again. I was... really overwhelmed and devastated by it... but I too got professional help... and, now I'm all good. I haven't failed anyone like I did to him, and though I am sorry for what I did, I learned to leave it behind until I saw him again so I could apologize."

"Have you seen him yet?"

C.C. paused. "Yes... I have... But he hasn't seen me yet."

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**Aghh just hang in there! It gets better. XDD Stay tuned for next time, when things start to get a little ugly. ;O  
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**~Rei**


	3. Viral

**Sorry it took a while, I was very distracted. xD This chapter is a little intense, well, not really, but for me it is! xD Conrad's sanity is at stake! dun dun dun. Enjoy~**

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Chapter 3: Viral**

The following week was like walking up the staircases to heaven after a long and exhausting journey to hell.

Niles was gradually becoming more lively very quick, and it was immediately noticeable. He smiled and talked to his fellow employees, he amused the guests with jokes as he served, and he did so three times quicker. He wasn't exactly the good and cheerful Niles the Butler yet, but he was at least a fraction there. Conrad immediately noticed.

"Niles, may I speak to you?" Conrad pulled Niles aside for a moment.

"Yes, sir?" This time, Niles didn't sound so indifferent, but instead spoke with more enthusiasm.

"How have you been feeling?"

"Better, sir."

"That's wonderful," Conrad smiled with pride as he stood up straight. "So Niles, since my best employee is right now exceeding best, how would you like to be head chef?"

Niles was speechless in amazement. He collected himself in a few seconds. "S-sir, I don't think I can accept that!" He stuttered.

"Ohh yes you can! You deserve it, my man. I know how you can cook."

Niles became breathless. "I don't know what to say sir, thank you so much!"

"I knew you would." Conrad smiled. "You start tomorrow, and be sure to be on time!"

"Yes, sir!"

Conrad dismissed him and Niles left off giddily.

Things were very noticeable in C.C. as well. She was a lot more hyper and occasionally sadistic--which was not necessarily a good thing, but Conrad found it pretty damn cute whenever she laughed at him when he'd randomly trip over the chairs in his doziness after returning to home. Because she was happier, she talked more and became more outgoing, which brought Conrad and her a lot closer. She was also very jittery and excited whenever Saturday was mentioned--she looked forward to it and it was her motivation to wake up and go to sleep early. C.C. was becoming alive again.

Just not today.

Conrad came home and found C.C. hopelessly lying in bed. She stirred at his arrival.

"Hi honey..."

"Little Miss Chastity Claire," he said softly as he sat on the edge of the bed. "I thought you were at work?"

"I called in sick..." Her voice was weak and nasal.

Conrad laid the back on his hand on her forehead and on her neck. "You're scorching."

"I think I'm aware of that..."

He ignored her sarcasm (which he would normally find adorable) and went to dig around the drawers for the digital thermometer. Finding it, he went to the bathroom to wash the tip thoroughly and went back into the room to stick it under her tongue.

"Conrah itsh jusht a small feverr..."

"You're hitting 102 degrees."

C.C. groaned. Conrad removed the thermometer and cleaned it again and capped it.

"Don't worry, sweetheart. You'll be better in no time. I'll go get you some Tylenol, stay put."

C.C. nodded and drifted back to rest.

Days passed, Conrad took intense care for C.C. and went home after every 2 hours of work to take care for her. But things seemed to get worse--regardless of how many layers of socks, sweaters and blankets she had she was always shivering. Conrad would always be awakened in the living room sofa by her coughing. Her breaths would be short and fast, and she'd have trouble talking for a long period of time, cause she would always run out of breath. B.B. tried to contact her, but Conrad had to tell her that she was ill.

"That better be natural illness and not something on your responsibility, mister!" She'd warn.

Eventually she looked paler and her skin became clammy. One night, she started to cough so heavily, small splatters of blood escaped. Completely convinced that she wasn't hit with a regular fever, he took her to a doctor immediately.

"She's got a case of Pneumonia," Dr. Willard diagnosed. "Right now it is not that serious, but it could be. I'll give you some antibiotics that you will use right away."

"Thanks doc, will do." Conrad said as he received the antibiotics with C.C. half-passed out on his shoulder.

In the car on the way home, C.C. sat in the back seat with a small blanket around her.

"So I won't be making it back to work any time soon."

"At most a week and a half... I'll make sure that your clients know and won't go psychopathic about your absence. Though I know most of the know already judging from the amount of get-well cards you've received the past week."

C.C. put on a tired smile. "You can't blame people for loving me."

After a small amount of silence used to drive, C.C. spoke up once more.

"Does Niles know?"

"No, I don't think so."

"Could you tell him?"

"Of course, honey."

"Okay. Thanks." She drifted into a small nap until they got home where she knocked out after coming in contact with the bed.

Conrad laughed and retrieved her pile of socks to slip them on her feet, then her lasagna of blankets.

Laying next to her with his arms around the form of her head, he watched her sleep. Even in her days of being absolutely healthy as opposed to now, he had never seen her so happy. Right now she was having problems talking, breathing, staying awake, eating, but she still slept with peace on her face.

And it was all ever since Niles came.

That's when Conrad began to think, that perhaps there was something more to C.C. and Niles that he'd thought. Both of them were miserable at the very same time, and both of them came from a place "they couldn't bear to go back to", and right when they meet each other, everything starts to fall back in place for the two of them...

No, no, he couldn't think anything like that. C.C. was his wife and Niles was his best friend and employee. Surely, it was just like a negative-times-negative effect...

The next day C.C. awoke with the sunlight penetrating form the blinds. She was still feeling like crap. It was noon, and Conrad was not in yet. Probably another busy day.

The door bell rung and C.C. immediately groaned. "Son of a..."

Lifting herself out of bed, she trudged her way to the door. Her head felt so heavy--it was probably a bad thing to lay down 24/7...

Using the walls as support, she opened the door, squinting her eyes against the sunlight.

"Delivery for Ms. Claire Faulsman?" Said a young man in light green uniform. He worked for the floral shop down the road, as he was carrying a lovely bouquet of orange roses.

C.C. stared amazed at the lush bunches. "Oh, yes.. that's me. Thank you."

"You're welcome ma'am." He smiled as he handed it over and saluted a goodbye.

C.C. closed the door and walked over to the kitchen and sat down on a chair. A small white note was dangling on the ribbon, and she out of great curiosity immediately flipped it open.

_High hopes to your health, for you gave high hopes to mine. --Niles_

And then she recognized the bouquet. It was the same kind of flowers Niles had when he was about to confess to her when she had that fling with Colin... She remembered that moment perfectly; how she tried to play dumb and act as if she didn't know whom those were for. But C.C. was no stereotypical blond, she knew exactly when she saw it.

She then woke out of her reminiscing. If they were the same ones, then perhaps... he knew? Impossible.

The door's locks jiggled around as C.C. turned her head to find Conrad opening the door.

"Hey darling, why aren't you sleeping?"

"Oh uh," she stood up to find a vase somewhere. "Someone had something delivered for me."

Conrad stepped to the table and eyed the flowers. "Who are these from?"

"Ummm." C.C. was distracted. She found a sturdy blue vase underneath the sink cupboard. "What in the world is this doing here... Oh, yeah, it's from Niles, honey."

"I see." He eyed the flowers as she tore off the note and stuffed it in her pocket and placed the flowers in the vase filled with water.

"Ugh Conrad sweetie can you put these on the table in the living room, I need to get back to rest."

"Of course," he answered dully. "Did you take your antibiotics?" He added as she retired into the room.

"Yahh," she shouted back.

Conrad sighed as he placed the vase on an end table in the corner of the room. He was still paranoid of the connection he made with the two of them. The flowers made it worse. She seemed so pleased with them, and just because they were from Niles.

He decided to set it aside for now.

Along the days, C.C. began to recover with lots of rest and following the doctor's orders. Conrad treated and pampered her like she was his child, and like he had never loved her so much before. Meanwhile at work, he distanced himself from Niles. Niles would always ask Conrad how C.C. was doing, and Conrad would always answer a vague "she's fine." It was against Conrad's morals to let his personal suspicions get in the way of things--it wasn't professional.

But it ate him, it ate at his mind and it drove him mad and jealous, like a virus. It was out of his hands to control it. It was because of a rough childhood, when his single mother committed suicide. He loved her so much, but he never did anything for her the way she did for him, most likely because she was the mother and he was only seven. But from that day he promised to help everyone he cared about. Then came the foster families, always happy to give him up because "he was only a burden", past girlfriends that would dump him because "he only paid attention to himself", and jobs lost because he would not "work efficiently."

Rethinking of this, he saw C.C. one day leaving him telling him that he wasn't enough for her, and it broke his heart.

Conrad went home finding C.C. up and running, all better.

"Hi honey," she greeted as she gave him a quick kiss and returned to cooking dinner.

"Hey," he smiled. "You're all better?"

"Yes sir," she playfully saluted.

Seeing that she was barely starting to boil the water, he turned off the stove. She looked up at him curiously.

"How about we dine at Mercielo to celebrate?"

"Sure," C.C. agreed with a smile. "It's about time I went inside."

Conrad put on a sour smile--something in his mind told him that she agreed this one time because of Niles.

He fetched their coats as C.C. slipped on her heels and they went off.

When they arrived, they took a special booth at front. Employees greeted them from every corner, and all of their eyes laid curiously on C.C., knowing who she was, but never actually seeing her before.

"You run a fancypants place here don't you," C.C. joked as she looked at the ceiling and the chandeliers hanging gracefully, reflecting a beautiful light.

"Don't you regret not coming here before," he laughed almost bitterly.

The waiter soon came by. "Orders ready, sir and ma'am?"

"Medium rare steak, my good man," Conrad ordered.

"Umm I'll take a chicken alfredo."

"Drinks?" The waiter added.

"Coke."

"Water."

He nodded and walked off to submit their orders.

"So," C.C. started almost awkwardly. "Niles works here as a waiter right?"

"No, not anymore. I upgraded him to chef. Bert was too slow of a cook, and Niles is real fast guy."

"Oh, I see." She tried to hide her disappointment of not being able to see him tonight.

For the rest of their waiting they talked about small things, like how work went, about how some clients were really nutty, and how B.B. threatened Conrad over the phone.

C.C. had a little split second of heart attack as she saw Niles, peering out of the kitchen. She caught his eye as well, and he winked and went back inside to return to his work. She smiled and felt herself grow warm.

Conrad didn't entirely notice, but he felt C.C. distracted.

And she was like that the whole dinner. They'd talk normally and casually, but C.C. would always take a suspicious glance at the kitchen, hoping she'd see Niles there.

After they ate and paid, Conrad, irritated, immediately took her home.

The car ride was silent and awkward.

Getting home, Conrad nearly slammed the door closed, and C.C. had to step in about this one.

"Conrad, what's the matter with you?"

He stared at her, not really knowing what to say. For once in his life, he wanted to yell at her, he wanted to scream at her, when right now all he wanted was the truth.

"You've been acting like this for the past few days..." She put her hand on his forearms and smoothed back his hair affectionately. "What's wrong?"

He stared at her long and hard and was on the verge of breaking down.

"Tell me the truth, C.C." He said quietly and solemnly.

Her eyes slightly widened at the name. He never called her by that form, not since they were just colleagues.

"What?" She said softly, hesitating to hold him.

"About Niles."

* * *

***CLIFFHANGED***

**You hate me now, huh. xD I hate myself too, don't worry. More will come soon! (hopefully) ;D**

**Just a little note, Conrad's a really awesome dude, he just got issues, and he's based off of me a little (cept my background story isn't the least as crappy), but you're sooo gunna hate him soon. XD  
**

**~Rei  
**


	4. Bounced

**GUESS WHAT?! I was just so on a roll today and I completed 3 chapters in one day, which is normally a NEVER for me cause I always get so frickin distracted with my ADD and stuff xD This chapter may be a little messy and typo-prone cause was just like, in front of the computer going O_O *TYPETYPETYPE* Chapter 5 will be posted tomorrow, though, because there are things I need to add. ENJOI.**

* * *

**Chapter 4: Bounced**

C.C. stood there, scared out of her mind. Her heartbeat was sprinting. "What.. do you mean? You know therapy sessions are completely confidential and I'm not allowed to--"

"Cut the crap," he scolded as he pulled away from her and turned around to compose himself. Facing her again. "Just tell me... what's going on between you two."

Her heart pounded and sunk and she didnt know what to say. "Okay..." She closed her eyes and sighed shakily. "Nothing is going on between us... but."

Conrad tried to calm down and listen attentively.

"Remember... when I told you where I came from before I met you?" She didn't really know where to start, or how to explain it.

"Yes.. you used to work with Maxwell Sheffield."

"Yeah and... Niles did, too."

Conrad's expression became puzzled as he tried not to jump into premature conclusions.

"But.. he was just a butler," C.C.'s eyes watered at the phrase she used to say so much. "And I was this rich 'high class' socialite and.. we couldn't be mixing levels. But somehow, he just... became my everything." C.C. paused to swallow as tears started to flow.

"I didn't want him to be, but he was.. and he loved me..and I did, too." For some reason it was so hard to say. "But I was a real bitch, and I blew everything by pushing him away... He proposed to me, four times, and I coldly broke his heart each time... He quit and, I just had to leave, and I never was able to tell him what he really meant to me..."

C.C. wiped off her tears as tried to speak up again. "And.. when you brought him to me, it was like... it was like a second chance..."

Conrad was shaking with self failure and anger. What he was afraid of came. And it felt like shit.

Not wanting to hear any more, he grabbed his keys and headed for the door.

"Conrad? Conrad! Where are you going?" C.C. called as she followed him.

He didn't answer but instead gave her a cold heartbroken look before going out the door and slamming it.

"Conrad!" She shouted through the door but he kept on and she gave up, falling on her knees and crying.

------

Niles was in the locker room, changing out of his uniform, when Conrad bursted in, startling all the other employees.

"Niles!"

"Yes, sir?" Niles looked up, not panicking, but frightened.

"You listen to me and listen good," Conrad spat as he glared at Niles. "You stay away from C.C., alright?"

Niles' heart jumped at the name. "....C.C.?"

A vein in Conrad's head pulsated. "Why do you two keep feeding me this bullshit? That's it, Niles, you're fired. I never want to see your face or hear of your presence near her, understood!"

He stormed off angrily, which left Niles so utterly confused, not understanding what happened. Taking it all in, he frowned, and resumed packing.

------

C.C. didn't sleep the whole night. Everything happened so fast, things were falling apart right when things were getting better... She finally fell asleep in her cries, curling up hopelessly on her bed, with no covers or warmth but her own arms.

The morning thereafter, Conrad did not come home. In fact, when she awoke, all the drawers were empty except with her belongings. Her breathing became heavy as she held at her head and nearly clutched her hair out.

"This is not happening, it's not, it's not happening..."

She quickly combed her hair and washed hair face and dressed up to go out and look for Conrad.

She took the bus to Mercielo, knowing for sure he'd be there. The drive was tedious, and her heart was jumping out of her chest.

C.C. couldn't let this happen, not after she all Conrad had done for her. He deserved so much more than what she gave him--which was nearly nothing at all!

The bus stopped on the street where Mercielo snugly lay and she quickly boarded off. Anxiety and fear rushed through her as she opened the doors. She was successful in finding Conrad--but what she found with him made her boil.

Conrad was sitting in a round booth, his arm tossed around some woman, who didn't look that skanky nor innocent, shamelessly flirting. He looked up and found C.C. far at the entrance, and she quickly turned away and pushed the door open.

He ran after her, catching her before she crossed the street.

"What do you think you're doing here?" He demanded as he grabbed her by the arm and she turned around with red eyes.

"Leave me alone, you clod," she said quietly yet seriously as she tried to break loose from his grip.

"What's wrong with you?" He asked with a bitter tone as he pulled her back. "Why does it bother you so much? You don't need me."

C.C. paused at his words.

Avoiding public attention, he pulled her closer and spoke softy.

"Don't be ridiculous to yourself, C.C. You don't need me anymore. Niles has made you happier by just existing in front of you in a tenth the time it took me to get you a fraction of happy."

C.C. breathed in heavily through her nose, trying not to cry.

"It's clear now, C.C., that I just wasn't enough for you." His face winced as he said it, saying the words that he was supposed to hear himself. After a few seconds of silence, Conrad let go of her. "It's done now. Don't squander what you have left."

C.C. watched him walk away as she sucked in a breath and awaited the next bus home.

------

C.C. laid down on her sofa, looking blanky at the ceiling. Things weren't supposed to turn out this way. But how could they not? There was no possible way she could fit in both Niles and Conrad snug into her life without any conflicts. But did she have to do it breaking his heart? What was with her? No matter what she did or how she did it, she ended up hurting people. Not cool.

Coping. The basic health skill that was suposed to be mastered by anyone in the psychologic department came so hard to her at this time. Ironic.

Her thoughts were interrupted as the phone rang. She prayed to God that it wasn't her mother; she didn't know how she would explain everything to her.

But well, God wasn't on her side right now.

"Hello..." C.C.'s voice was raspy and low.

"Good heavens! What's wrong?" B.B. automatically picked up on her tone.

"Ngh..." C.C. whined, sniffling in between.

"C.C., if you don't tell me what happened this instant..."

"You'll what..."

"Fly over there!"

"...Could you?"

"C.C., seriously, you sound as broken as that old recordplayer Noel overused. What, is it Conrad? Did that dolt finally screw things up?"

C.C. fell silent.

"I'll be there in a bit." B.B. hung up.

C.C. clicked the phone and dropped her arm onto the floor as well as the phone, curling up on the couch and going to sleep, where hopefully her nightmares would even be better than this.

------

B.B. arrived the day after. C.C. was more than happy to see her; she needed someone right now, and it might as well be her mother. It was as if C.C. were a little needy child again, unable to stand on her own. This all made B.B. want to hire someone to take Conrad down--which she could, if C.C. allowed.

Two days dragged on like a millenium like this.

One morning, C.C. woke up feeling nauseous. She threw up in the morning, the afternoon, so often that it worried B.B., and she took C.C. to a doctor for a check.

Now they were in the waiting room, anticipating Dr. Willard to come back with C.C.'s result.

"What do you think it is?" C.C. asked, worried as she clutched at the gurgling in her stomach.

"Anxiety, maybe.. you've been through a lot, it could be just that..." B.B. held back. She knew exactly what it was but she was too afraid it'd kill C.C. She prayed that her intuition was false.

Dr. willard opened the door to his office and gestured C.C. and B.B. in, to which they immediately responded to.

Closing the door, C.C. and B.B. took a seat as Willard skimmed over his clipboard.

"Everything seems normal... but," he paused, not knowing if the upcoming news would be considered good or bad. "C.C., you're pregnant."

-----

"Ohh, God! Why must you bring this upon the Babcocks!" B.B. wailed across the living room, walking back and forth as C.C. sat quietly on the sofa, holding at her stomach.

"Did you two even have sex? Cause you really seemed to live up to your name even after you two got married!"

"Of course, mummy.. who else would it be?" C.C. answered dully and matter-of-factly.

"You're positive it's Conrad's?"

"Yes..."

"I'm going to kill that bastard."

C.C. sighed. "Don't waste your threats, mummy."

B.B. faced C.C. with her hands on her hips. "Are you going to just sit there and take this?"

"Take what? A growing fetus?"

"You're not going to do anything about it?"

"You're suggesting I abort it?"

"Oh of course not, if I supported that you'd be gone."

"Thanks, mummy, that's really comforting."

"Anyways, who's going to help you raise the child? Your husband's gone, the rest of the male race is a pile of testosteral shit, what are you going to do?"

"I don't know yet, so just shut up, please!" C.C. yelled back. It's been a first time in a while since she had shouted at her mother. B.B. fell silent but still held stern in her eyes.

C.C. sighed and got up. "I'll be going back to work tomorrow. My sick days are done, I've been abusing them too much."

------

Niles sat against the headboard of his bed with his hands crossed over his stomach. He couldn't believe that he'd lost his job--hell, he couldn't believe that he didn't realize that Dr. Faulsman was actually C.C.! He knew he shouldn't have doubted it when he saw her, but he did, and he did so much that he overlooked it. Everything just happened during those 2 minutes Conrad was screaming his head off at him.

He no longer had a way to support himself or his parents, who still had no idea what has been happening. Now he'd have to go job-skimming. But all of that didn't seem to bother him as the fact that C.C. was in front of him the whole time.

Niles eyed the clock that hung over the door. He still had time for one last session.

Preparing a sandwhiches for his parents before he left, he quickly made his way to hail a cab and head for C.C.'s office.

Niles arrived at 2:05, and when he opened the door, he found her leaning her back against her chair, facing the large window that was always behind her during the sessions.

"Dr.... Faulsman?" He called, trying to get attention. He walked closer, standing beside his regular sofa.

"Leave." C.C. nearly whispered. Niles became stiff.

"Actually... I came here to--" Niles started as he took steps closer to her.

"Leave!" She snapped as she turned around, revealing her red eyes and nose. Niles paused and tried to say something, but couldn't find what to say.

"Just leave, Niles," she sobbed as she tried to push him away. "Every time you come into my life, something bad happens, so just, leave!"

Her eyes looked so hurt, and he really didn't know what to do, not even for his precious C.C. Hearthurt, he backed away and left.

And that was the last time the both of them set foot in that room.

* * *

**DUN DUN DUN. Sorry. Another cliffy. Sorta. I can't help it, kay? xP**

**Stay tuned, my lovlies.**

**~Rei**


	5. Reunification

**I'm really sorry this took forever to update; but I just got so busy with school & I really need to get my own laptop because some certain family members are busy with their Farm Town and Tumblr/formspring shiz (which I find very irritating). XD What's worse, I have writer's block! DUN DUN FRICKIN DUN. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

* * *

**Chapter 5: Reunification  
**

C.C. came home with the large box of papers she had in her office of which she would put away into the storage closet. She had finished moving all her clients to her other therapist friend, who thanked her with all her heart for she was almost on the verge of financial turmoil. C.C. was never fit to be a therapist anyway---no matter how she changed, she'd still be a little vain and self centered.

She tried to get her mind off what she just said to Niles. She didn't particularly care whether he knew that it was really her or not, but she certainly gave herself away there. And God, did it tear her apart.

She went into her bedroom and found B.B. packing her things.

"Mummy? What, where are you going?" She said as she put down the box on the floor and kicked it underneath the bed.

"I have to go," She explained without looking up as she zipped her bag shut.

"But why?" C.C. asked like a little toddler, disappointed as hell.

"I'm all out of Valium," B.B. slipped out. "Shit."

"Valium. You're kidding me."

B.B. looked down in half shame, half "ugh-how-did-I-let-that-out".

"Mummy," C.C. looked at her with deep eyes. "I don't know what to feel... You can't love me without taking what's basically a chill pill... but you took them just to love me."

"Whatever you think suits things best, C.C., I've gotta scram before I get all anal and uptight and make your life even worse."

"Thank you... and thank you!" C.C. hugged her mother quickly and B.B. left, leaving C.C. on her own.

C.C. slipped off her shoes and collapsed herself onto the bed, relaxing all her tensed up back muscles. She had to think. She wasn't a little girl anymore, she couldn't rely on people like Conrad or even her own mother anymore.

She was pregnant. She was single. She was alone. She was jobless. Thinking of all this and how to pull it all together, she only thought of one solution.

She needed Niles.

------

Niles sat alone on the bench in the park, idly watching happy families picnic while their children played in the last hours of daylight. The back of his eyes and throat ached and swelled as if he wanted to burst into tears, but he couldn't find the power to even do that.

He was just so overwhelmed by everything. How was it that the worst things happened the fastest without warning? C.C. was right there in front of him, their second chance was right there, and somehow they blew it again. Something felt heavy in Niles' heart, and it was nothing he could sigh off. It just grew heavier that way.

He replayed the office, and how they first met there, and how he had no idea. Even when he didn't know who she was, she didn't fail to make him happy. Then he remembered what she'd said to him, that C.C. was out there waiting for him, waiting or him to see her.

Oh what a stupid mistake he had done to leave her! Even if it was her command, how could he forget the way C.C. was even after all this time? She was still stubborn and didn't know what was good or bad for her. He needed to go back before he lost her for good. Fate did not give them another chance just to squander.

He got up and went to catch a taxi. The ride was excruciatingly slow, and he could feel his heart jittering as he came closer and closer to her. If in any possible way he bumped into Conrad on the way, Niles would have his funeral. But for C.C., just for C.C., dying would be a worthwhile risk.

C.C. was having a cup of coffee, thinking of what to do or say to Niles when she saw him. Did she even know where he lived? No way could she look for him at Mercielo without running into Conrad...

Like an answered prayer, someone on the door knocked. She was startled for a moment, but quickly gathered herself up.

She opened opened the door, and her heart skipped a beat as whom she saw was Niles. He stepped in and shut the door behind him slowly.

"Ni.." She felt breathless as her eyes began to glimmer with tears and covered her mouth. C.C. was eaten with happiness yet fear and she didn't know whether she should back away or hug him him.

Niles' eyes shimmered as well as he smiled affectionately at her. "Hey, kiddo."

C.C. exhaled roughly as she cried and embraced him, arms tight around him as he secured her with his own. Tears flowed down like currents from both their faces, out of relief and ever longed security.

With the words she could not say, she merely hugged him tighter, feeling warm in every part of her body and soul. Niles rubbed her back as he couldn't help but to smile and cry.

"Funny how this takes us half a decade," he commented.

C.C. hit his back with a small light fist as she smiled. "Shut up, you're ruining the magic." When indeed, he made the magic manifest and made her feel at home again. Hell, she could stand like this with him forever.

"Oh Niles," she sobbed. "Everything's gone so wrong."

"I know, but it's all right now..."

"...You don't know what's happened do you?"

"Not at all."

C.C. giggled under her sniffle. Niles pulled himself away and kept his hands on her arms. "Tell me."

She sat on the sofa as Niles found a box of tissues and swiftly pulled one out to wipe off C.C.'s tears as he sat next to her.

"What's happened to Conrad?" He asked in a low tone, finally noticed that her wedding ring was absent as he held her hand.

C.C. shuddered as she replayed everything. "He's left me."

A wave of anger pulsed through Niles' heart and head. "He what?" He seethed unintentionally. He was just furious of how he would dare to hurt her in such a way, when she placed so much trust on him.

"Niles, don't be angry with him," she shook her head as she wiped her eyes and held his hands tighter. "It was my fault."

"How?"

"Through all these years..." she started, taking a moment to swallow her sobs and find words to help explain. "I used him without really loving him... and when you came along, I finally realized that. Horrible isn't it? That no matter how changed I seem to be, I always end up being the same cold person that ruined your life."

Niles looked at the emptiness of her eyes that stared blankly into space, lost in what to say, for there wasn't anything he could find that would make what she just said any lighter on her shoulders. He held her closer to him and rested her head under his chin.

"I lied to you two. I lied by allowing you not to know who I was, and be allowing Conrad to believe that you were nothing more than his employee and my client... And to even to this point there is still something the both of you don't know."

Niles' heart froze for a moment, scared of what it might be.

"And...." she hesitated as she placed her hands upon her stomach. "And... I..." Her voice started to quiver and soften again as she ducked her head in shame and secured her belly with both her hands.

Tears of fright began to flow again and by then Niles knew exactly what was going on and made her say no more as he places his hands over hers over her stomach and held her close. She cried more freely now.

"Shh, it's okay now. I'm here," Niles whispered softly as he closed his eyes as they just held on to each other, falling asleep that way, trying to make up for the past five years that they were not holding on, slowly sinking into an undiscovered heaven.

In the middle of the night, C.C. awoke. Niles was laying down on the sofa with her snugly in his arms. He was still deep asleep, exhausted from everything, so she decided not to wake him by getting up. She held his hand as she stared blankly at the walls, thinking.

Things from this point were going to be difficult. Niles' arrival made it a lot easier to welcome, but it was all nonetheless going to be a challenge. They had to find new jobs, for they both couldn't just depend on the Babcock inheritance. What's more, Niles still had his parents to care for. He couldn't just ask them to go back to England or neglect them. If they stayed like this with a way to barely balance things out, what would happen if the baby were born? Shit, the baby...

"Are you awake?" Niles whispered softly.

C.C. flinched, startled a bit. "How did you know I was awake?"

"You snore."

"Do not..." she flustered.

Niles chuckled silently.

C.C. smiled but after a few seconds allowing silence, she became solemn. "Niles?"

"Yes?"

"About... the child..." Her voice trailed off to ghostly whispers.

"You don't have be afraid to talk about it, dear, I already know," he comforted. "What about it?"

"It's Conrad's... and... he's not here anymore, so..."

Niles pursed his lips and rubbed her arms. Her feelings hit him like roadkill and he couldn't imagine how conflicted she was at this moment. "C.C., like I said. I'm here now. I'll take care of you and little future C.C. junior from here on," he said softly with affection as he moved his hands to her stomach, caressing it lovingly.

She turned around on her back to face him. "You'll be its father? I mean... even if, it's not--"

"C.C.," he interjected gently. "If I know one thing is for sure, then it's that I love you and nothing--especially after this long--is going to get in the way of that. I will love that child as if it were my own as much as I do love you, regardless of who actually is the biological father. At this point and circumstances, it doesn't matter. If I should be angry at anything, it should be that I was unable to convince you to stay with me and actually being there to be the real father. So listen, Love, you have nothing to worry or doubt about with me, I promise." He wrapped his pinky around hers and shook it.

C.C. smiled. "Thank you, Niles." She stroked his cheeks and felt warm all over in relief. "I love you."

It felt weird to her, it was actually the first time she had ever said that to him. She was afraid that the timing also made it seem like her love was conditional. But she couldn't not say it any longer. It was true--it was true for the past who-knows-how-many-years.

Niles pulled her closer and kissed her warmly, sending sparks from head to toe. C.C. immediately complied and Niles turned her over, laying her back onto the cushions as he was atop her. No later than sooner, they were flushed at the heart with desire, using this one first night together to vent all the love bottled up, slowing drowning in the abyss.

* * *

**Again guys, I'm really sorry this took forever and I couldn't even make it longer to make up for it. :( Writer's block just effs me up a lot D; Please forgive!**

**Lovies,**

**Rei.**


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